Timeline of a Newbie’s Bodypump Experience

So Friday morning I woke up at the crack of dawn, 4:22 am to be exact (which might actually be considered before the crack of dawn.) Hubs was working a 5 am shift, so I thought why not go to 5:30 Body Pump at the Y?

I stroll/crawl into the Y at 5:24 am, because one must be there early to secure a spot, and holy macaroni there were so many people there getting ready to body pump. So like any reasonable person who does not like working out in the am, I took a raincheck on Bodypump, spun on the stationary bicycle for 30 minutes, and went home to a hot shower and a large cup of coffee.

Monday afternoon it was sunny and frigidly cold, but I was totally feeling a good workout, so I ventured to 4:30 pm Bodypump at the Y. Here is my experience.

4:16 pm – I arrive at the classroom fifteen minutes before class begins, and the room is half filled. Why are we all here so early? Why don’t we all arrive five minutes beforehand and still get the same spots? Why do we need to add all this pressure?

4:17 pm – The good thing about so many people arriving to this class so early is I have people to copy. Now I know how to set up. Setting up may seem silly to anyone who has not been to body pump, but everyone has their own set of a little step stool, various weights, a bar, more weights, and free weights. It seems like a lot and its confusing.

4:23 pm – I grab a bunch of weights too and place them in the little four by three foot area I’ve deemed my pace. I mark my space with my purple water bottle.

4:24 pm – I sit on my little bench and wait for class to begin. I am the only person under the age of thirty in this room.

4:25 pm – Our instructor comes in, introduces herself as Katie, and tells us we should remember her name in case we need to swear at her half way through. Dually noted. I consider leaving.

4:29 pm – The room is twice as full as when I first arrived. I now understand why people arrive early. Gotta get dibs on the best weights or something.

4:30 pm – We begin our warm up right on time.  Squats, rows, clean and presses all with our light weight bar and set to music.

4:32 pm – My bar weighs approximately twelve pounds. This is fun. I can totally do this.

4:35 pm – Our warm up is over and everyone starts putting more weights on their bars. WHAT. We have an hour of this ahead of us and we have to up weights?!

4:36 pm – I add more weight to my bar.

4:37 pm – We begin 7 minutes of squatting. SEVEN MINUTES. Katie tells us this before we begin and I kind of wish she hadn’t.

4:42 pm – My legs feel like they are about to fall off. We have “just a few more reps left.”

4:45 pm – We begin 35 more minutes of what I can kindly describe as torture set to upbeat, slightly alternative music. We work literally every muscle group for four to six minutes. I would give you more detail, but it was honestly all a blur of pain and I think I’ve blocked the memories out of my mind.

4:59 pm – Halfway done. Katie is smiling. She is also telling us this is her second Bodypump class of the day. Why. Are. You. Smiling. Katie.

5:19 pm – We are on our final shoulder presses, sets of four and eight. I do one and cannot lift the bar above the top of my head. I am weak. Also my calves are burning, which is odd (and painful).

5:20 pm – We place our bars down for the last time (Hallelujah!) and do five minutes of ab exercises. I love ab exercises and we got to lay on our mats during them. It’s practically like a nap. Some people are already putting away their weights and skipping out on the good ab-y stuff. These people are called crazy.

5:21 pm – After that workout I think all people in this room are crazy.

5:25 pm – We stretch and class is over. Thank God.

5:32 pm – I almost fall walking down the steps to leave the YMCA.

7:04 pm – I spill water all over my food at dinner, because my shoulders and biceps literally cannot lift the cup of liquid I am attempting to drink. This makes rehydrating extremely difficult.

Wednesday 10:40 am – I am still hobbling around my home and wincing every time I open up my arms wide. How am I supposed to hug my husband? The problems…

Body pumpers are crazy, and I’m already reconsidering attending next Monday’s class. Will I conquer a class before 6 am? Maybe if I’m half asleep it will make completing the ridiculous amounts of reps manageable.

Stay tuned workout loving friends, stay tuned.


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